You married your spouse with the desire to be with him for a lifetime. When you first got married, the honeymoon phase seemed beautiful, sensual and humorous at times. Then you had children and the challenges of parenting threw curve balls into the marriage. You are seeing more of your spouse's bad habits and you wonder if you made a mistake in marrying him. Yet you want to remain married because of the deep love and commitment you have toward him. Here are some signs that your marriage is in trouble and how you can restore the relationship.
Constant arguments or no arguments at all
One sure sign of a troubled marriage is constant arguments. Sometimes the arguments are based on petty things while other arguments are centered on more serious issues. On the other hand, there could also be trouble in the marriage when couples don't argue. This is because it is an indicator that you are no longer trying to work things out in the marriage.
Sex is now an afterthought
When a marriage is in trouble, sexual activity decreases. When the two of you engage in intercourse, it appears boring and uninteresting. The two of you are not excited about sex as you once were and this might be because of busy workloads, routines of childrearing, stress or a lack of effort in rebuilding intimacy.
Secrets are common in the marriage
If there is little honesty and open communication in the marriage, then there will be an increase in secrets within the relationship. Your spouse might start keeping secrets about how he is spending household finances. Or you might be keeping secrets about who you are hanging out with because the truth is that you are having an affair with the individual.
Your conversations are mostly about the kids
There is nothing wrong with discussions about the kids but when the kids are the only thing the two of you discuss, it means that you and your spouse are so focused on parenting duties that you neglect the care of your marriage. Improve things by going on regular date nights and by planning weekend vacations occasionally. When your marriage is strengthened, you can be better parents.
Serious problems are not addressed or resolved
Perhaps you and your spouse know what the problems are but you are not resolving them the right way. The solution is to sit with your spouse during a time when you are not stressed out and discuss the issues you're concerned about. Sometimes you might need to seek out marriage counseling if you can't solve the problems on your own.
Marriage requires hard work and there will be times when you will want to give up on your spouse. Forgiveness is important in resolving problems in marriage and at times you will need to apologize for the way you hurt your spouse. Everyone has flaws but when you love someone unconditionally, you can overlook them while still holding them accountable for their actions.